BLACK GIRLS ROCK

Before you get ahead of yourself, this post might have nothing to do with girls or rock. I’m sorry if that disappoints the insecure black girl who has been waiting 17 years for someone to tell her she’s indeed adorable. Or as urban music lovers often put it – that she’s the shit. I don’t know why a girl should go around trying to overcome this insecurity by acting like the sun revolves around her ass. I mean, the sun actually shines out of your ass babe. So you should feel great about yourself because sincerely, you are the ish – you rock!

Wait, I thought I said this has nothing to do black girls or --- Arrgh, whatever.

It’s holiday time and since my posts normally reflect what’s happening in mi vida, I’ll be writing a lot about ma familia. I’m currently crushing at my sister’s. There are like three boys there. One is like 8, the others are 2 and 1 respectively. The 8 year old talks too much, plays lots of video games and finds a hard time sitting down. If he isn’t busy dealing with first world problems like fixing his (toy) rides and throwing tantrums, the 2 year old spends most of his time with his girlfriend from next door, who’s like 3. The 1yr old is probably going to be a comic because he’s such a jolly fellow – he’s always in such a good mood.

All this is supposed to be bliss. For girls of course, not that I don’t adore kids but the thing is, I’ve been looking forward to pushing PlayStation these holidays. It so happens that most of the games at crib are rated 18 and above. Besides, I have to convince the 8yr old that we are going to play together in turns. I’m game since well, at some point or another he’ll turn 18 and learn how to cuss anyway. I dig Scarface but this game is so violent and Al Pacino is always cussing like, “FUCK YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU WANNA TAKE ME YOU FUCKING COCKROACHES? YOU HAVE COJONES (BALLS)? YOU SONOFABITCHES!!”

And on it goes. The kid actually imitates what the guy is saying and my sister walks into the room and throws me this “what the fuck?” look. I shrug since I don’t want to shoulder the blame.

-         

•  Isn’t there anything better you can play? This game is too violent!

• Ok, let me play GTA or God of War or Godfather –

• All those games are 18 and over, turn it off.

• But please –

• Turn it off! Watch tv or something…

Watching TV is a whole other dilemma since the kids want to watch cartoons, the maid wants to watch soaps and me, well I can’t watch the same station for more than 5 minutes tops. In the end, there’s some shit on the telly with no one watching but as soon as you touch it, someone springs up claiming they were watching the crap. 

Last night, my sister tried to make a sort of family TV night. Her husband wanted to watch discovery. I wanted to watch MSNBC. My sister insisted we watch BET. The kids were on their mum’s side. And as long as we’re in her home, everyone is her bitch so we had to settle for making disgruntled noises while she wore a satisfied smile.

There’s a new show on BET called Black Girls Rock. I think they’re actually awards where they like award Female Black Americans who have done some shit that deserves recognition.

Wait, did I just say they are like awards where they award?

I think I’m hanging with a lot of dumb people of recent.

Anyway, there was an interesting argument when Ciara came on stage to perform. My brother-in-law tried to claim that she was faded. I didn’t want to inform him of Ciara’s new songs so I just said;

Me: You’re old dude, just watch.

Him: Oh she hasn’t done shit since that song with Missy Elliot

Sis: Watch your language around the kids honey.

Me: I actually like Ciara

Him: Look at her, with that same old crappy dance move.

Sis: What dance move?

Wherein he stood up and basically did the same thing a dog does when it’s trying to dry itself.

Sis: Which one?

Him: This one (*does it again*), she always does it.

Me: Nope, I’ve never seen Ciara, or anyone for that matter doing that “move” before.

Sis: *laughs* yeah me neither! That one is yours - if it qualifies as a “move” anyway.

Me: Guess you have dibbs on that one bro.

Him: Fuck off, both of you.

I think it is going to be a very Merry Christmas.