Greetings from rainy Mbale, where "gals" are women, people are "folks," a little bit is a "skosh," if you're tired you're "logy," if something is a little off it's "hinky," when the sun comes up it's never called sun but always "sunshine," boyfriends and girlfriends are "partners," beer tastes better than it has any right to, you're not allowed to cuss but someone might occasionally "drop the c-bomb," you can cough but only into your elbow, and any request, reasonable or unreasonable, is met with "no worries."
It's all rot and funk up here. And I'm stuck in it. I thought I'd be out of here right after intern but whaddayaknow? My folks heard about the MUK lecturers strike.
"We don't want you to go and start "lousing" around and sleeping in baalas (bars). You'll leave when school starts (i.e. when we watch it on the 9 o'clock news).'
Closing baalas (and chasing fast women and trouble) is exactly what I want to do for the next 3weeks or so. I had a tidy, neat, little excuse in my back pocket for my folks. That "I gats to be at Campus like ASAP coz, guys left me with the key of the lecture room's like trash can's padlock..."
My dad said, "Son, it's called thinking outside the box, not thinking outside the dictionary. You'll report when I say you report."
I was infinitely miffed. See, it is not just boredom up here, it is boredom plus losing the will to live. Like smashing my brains on a pavement would be an easy call right now. Sadly, there's a six month waiting list for if you want to jump off the roof of Mulago Hospital.
It isn't that I expected home to be all fancy schmancy or that I'm exactly eager to get back to the campus routine of dealing with the who's who of magnanimous assholes from wherever and beyond, it is just that there's nothing happening here!
The place is so empty, there's more activity in Jacob Oulanya's head.
Don't get me wrong, I love home - a lot. But I hate - no, not hate - I loathe inactivity more.
Did you know? The leading cause of death in Mbale is people falling asleep. Mudslides are running a close second - but that's just because people are asleep.
In fact, I kinda miss Intern. Even though it took so long, that Craig Kadooda went through menopause.
Even though I had to put up with barbaric, annoying questions such as;
"Where are you from? Did you go to College? Did you go to Prison? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have a will? Am I in it?"
Even though I wish to but etiquette demands that I don't respond with, "Yes, also, I'd very much like to replace your teeth with my fist."
At least when I was going through that intern drill, I didn't have to spend so much time listening to my weed dealer's life stories; for which, I'm awarded marijuana mountains which leave me pushy, obnoxious, crass - anything and everything - the full catastrophe.
I want to go. Anywhere. Badilisha this shit, the world awaits my grand entrance. It's my show. And as always, I'm running late.
*Drags on cigarette*
And it's so freakin cold! Gosh, I've had to pee ever since I picked up my phone to scribble this.
P.S. I fully expect you to charge me for the time it takes to go through these ramblings. But I'm dirt broke so spend whatever you hadn't intended to and put it on this blog.
Happy Academic Year, 2013/2014!
Sincerely,
Peeing.
It's all rot and funk up here. And I'm stuck in it. I thought I'd be out of here right after intern but whaddayaknow? My folks heard about the MUK lecturers strike.
"We don't want you to go and start "lousing" around and sleeping in baalas (bars). You'll leave when school starts (i.e. when we watch it on the 9 o'clock news).'
Closing baalas (and chasing fast women and trouble) is exactly what I want to do for the next 3weeks or so. I had a tidy, neat, little excuse in my back pocket for my folks. That "I gats to be at Campus like ASAP coz, guys left me with the key of the lecture room's like trash can's padlock..."
My dad said, "Son, it's called thinking outside the box, not thinking outside the dictionary. You'll report when I say you report."
I was infinitely miffed. See, it is not just boredom up here, it is boredom plus losing the will to live. Like smashing my brains on a pavement would be an easy call right now. Sadly, there's a six month waiting list for if you want to jump off the roof of Mulago Hospital.
It isn't that I expected home to be all fancy schmancy or that I'm exactly eager to get back to the campus routine of dealing with the who's who of magnanimous assholes from wherever and beyond, it is just that there's nothing happening here!
The place is so empty, there's more activity in Jacob Oulanya's head.
Don't get me wrong, I love home - a lot. But I hate - no, not hate - I loathe inactivity more.
Did you know? The leading cause of death in Mbale is people falling asleep. Mudslides are running a close second - but that's just because people are asleep.
In fact, I kinda miss Intern. Even though it took so long, that Craig Kadooda went through menopause.
Even though I had to put up with barbaric, annoying questions such as;
"Where are you from? Did you go to College? Did you go to Prison? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have a will? Am I in it?"
Even though I wish to but etiquette demands that I don't respond with, "Yes, also, I'd very much like to replace your teeth with my fist."
At least when I was going through that intern drill, I didn't have to spend so much time listening to my weed dealer's life stories; for which, I'm awarded marijuana mountains which leave me pushy, obnoxious, crass - anything and everything - the full catastrophe.
I want to go. Anywhere. Badilisha this shit, the world awaits my grand entrance. It's my show. And as always, I'm running late.
*Drags on cigarette*
And it's so freakin cold! Gosh, I've had to pee ever since I picked up my phone to scribble this.
P.S. I fully expect you to charge me for the time it takes to go through these ramblings. But I'm dirt broke so spend whatever you hadn't intended to and put it on this blog.
Happy Academic Year, 2013/2014!
Sincerely,
Peeing.
posted from Bloggeroid
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