Rapper Curtis “50
Cent” Jackson has come out and affirmed what is on most of our minds by saying
publicly that Kanye’s new gold digging, publicity seeking, freak-show Kim K is
trash. By his standards if that’s anything to go with.
This is not the first
time these two are tongue wagging swear words in each other’s face. It must be
put in mind to all readers that 50 and Ye were initially supposed to eloquently
address global warming and make suggestions on how the problem would be fixed
in a media organised debate. Ye from the opposite podium was supposed to
discuss foreign policy like the implementation of cheaper water transportation
systems in the poorest (yes, Uganda inclusive) of African nations.
But that was years
back-regrettably.
As predicted, their
debate has evolved quickly over the years into mad rhymes and sexually-themed
verbal assaults on each other’s mothers—er, girlfriends.
Yes, girlfriends.
*mother jokes are not
funny*
After realising that
no one gives a shit about his recurrent whines over being shot sometime before (hopefully)
you were born, 50 has decided to risk sparking a new feud with rap rival Kanye
after what could be interpreted as an insult on Ye’s new squeeze, Kim Khardashian
(whom I just typoed as ‘Lardashian’ then spent too long debating whether to let
it slide). Here she is with Ye before rubbing uglies;
Kanye on the hand,
recently made up his mind that professing his love for Kim on his single
“Theraflu” was probably not enough. He has released a new single “Perfect B*tch”
to make it clear that his relationship has already lasted longer than
Kardashian’s recent marriage. Don’t weigh your expectations so heavily to
hearing it because it is rubbish. Though I haven’t personally listened to it,
I’m positive it’s pretty blah like all his post My Dark Twisted Fantasy joints.
And my man Fifty agrees with me. Even though he cannot afford to focus on more
mundane matters as his flaws as a rapper being thrust in the foreground for all
to see, your lazy eye heard that when Fiddy heard it, he ripped off his
headphones and quickly called for an interview in which he said;
“I mean…if that man
(Kanye) feel like she perfect then she’s perfect. He could mean it and you’ll
end up singing he words to it because he’s Kanye. You know how it is, one man’s(50’s)
trash is another man’s(Kanye’s) treasure.”
Left, he seems to
lash out--
No truer words have
ever been said. I mean how many times have you heard a Kanye joint and started
tripping over lyrics that barely make sense to a sane human? Kanye has over the
years perfected the art of carefully piecing together words that just roll off
the tongue as long as they rhyme even minutely. He is the perfect example of
style over substance. And he’s not afraid to brag about it. We all heard about
N*ggas in Paris going GORILLAS and two most like white males applauding by
saying;
“What does that even
mean?”
“No one knows what it
means! But it’s provocative! Gets people GOING!”
Because it’s Kanye
West.
And since he doesn’t
comprehend most of what he says, he claims that no one loves Kim K like he
does. I suggest he take that back because no one could possibly ever love Kim
Kardashian as much as Kim Kardashian does. She is rumoured to even stand on
mirror before she leaves the house-just to make sure everything is in perfect
order.
This self-centred,
eccentric female can’t bear the thought of humankind going through 5 minutes
without a constant reminder of how much better she is than them all. She
apparently has the internet mistaken for a mirror and will post a pic every
minute to prove it. Plus, she does not need photoshop. Not that it matters to
the upcoming model reading this.
However, there’s
nothing much you, Kanye or 50 for that matter can do about it because this
b*tch stacks paper. She has a net worth of $38m, gold digging $17m of that in
2011 according to Forbes. She makes $40k for everytime you go through the
painful experience of watching her strutting her perfect ass across your TV set
and muttering dumb shit. She owns a clothing line, a perfume, a weight loss
something, a Ferrari, a mega-crib in 9021-OMG.
So 50 should sincerely
shut the fuck up because Kanye “aint sayin she’s a gold digger, but she aint
messin with no broke n*gger” as the couple are in the prime stages of shooting
a reality show (surprise!) on MTV called KKK. Er, the third K stands for Kevin
Hart which totally means that it’s probably funny and of course stupid.
But honestly, if
you’re a Kim Kardashian fan, please kill yourself and tell me about how much
better life is in the comments.
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